Being a bride is one of the strangest things (or so I’ve experienced). Everyone you know wants to know everything. I’ve also had people coming out of the woodwork trying to give me advice, asking to see pictures of the ring, and comparing every decision I make with the way they would have done or did it. Which is fine. I’m not a fan of the wedding attention, but what gets me the most upset is when someone asks if I’m losing weight before the wedding. For some reason, they assume that you need to lose weight before you walk down the aisle. Pero like, I’m sorry, what?!
Not only is this such a loaded question, but why?! I genuinely want to know why anyone thinks it’s ok to ask that. Weight is such a sensitive topic for people and many struggle with past trauma, disordered eating and body image.
For me, this year has been such a personal transformation. I embarked on a holistic journey to heal my eczema from the inside out. And I’ve lost a lot of weight as a result — 25 pounds to be exact! I’m having a hard time with this phenomenon. I’m the lowest weight I’ve been since my early college days and my eating habits are much better than they were then. I’ve been working out consistently and training for the Chicago Marathon (hopefully my last but you never know with me). And I’ve been prioritizing sleep and focusing more on building up my relationships in my personal and professional life. But losing weight wasn’t my priority. Healing was. And I have been able to control my flare ups. AFTER 27 YEARS OF TRYING AND FAILING.
So when people ask me if I’m losing weight before the wedding, it makes me sad that the wedding industry has told us that we brides need to fit into a perfect sample size. That our arms and back need to be chiseled like stone. That our legs and bodies need to be so thin that our partners will love us more on that day than any other.
And I’m calling bullshit.
So here’s a tip for the next time anyone you know is getting married — don’t ask them about their weight. Ask about how meaningful their partner is to them, have they picked a wedding song, what can you help them with when it comes to planning. And let them know whatever they decide to wear on their day, they’ll be beautiful. Because their size now is perfect. And they don’t have to change a damn thing.
